I remember the day when my ex gave me a promise ring before we headed off to separate universities to pursue our studies. At the time I was extremely confident that we would be fine. I was aware that long distance relationships could be hard, but I was 100% convinced we would make it through.
I was wrong.
After my relationship ended, I spent the next several years feeling miserable wishing I could get him back. I was 100% convinced I would never find anyone better. That was my only shot at love and I f*ked it up. How could I ever find someone with a motorcycle, who did CrossFit, danced tango and loved bacon as much as he loved me?
How dare he choose someone else over me?! It was not fair!
I was too broken to date. I felt empty. I needed to learn to love myself without depending on a man to complete me. While doing forgiveness work, I set the intention to believe in love again, and I expressed a willingness to let go of how it showed up. In time, someone new came into my life.
I was not convinced I could fall for this person. He was nothing like my former love. He did not ride a motorcycle. He was “not my type”. But as we got to know each other, I started to see beneath the surface. He was not just a vegetarian with dreadlocks. He was fun loving, kind-hearted soul who was capable of great love.
To this day, he is one of the most optimistic people I have ever met. In many ways, that relationship served as much needed healing for both of us. But deep down, I knew it was not mean to last forever. With kindness and grace, after three years, we let the relationship go.
I took a leap of faith and moved to a new city.
Now, I am happily married to someone else. My life is even better than I could have imagined. My husband is unlike anyone I have ever met. He is not the man from my old vision board. He is nothing like my exes. I am so grateful that what I originally wanted did not work out. It freed me to find the one I was meant to end up with.
Don’t give up. Had my efforts not failed, I would not be where I am today. Sometimes what we think we want and what is for our highest good are two very different things.
Let the door gently close behind you. Start where you are and imagine something new.
Keep your heart open. It will happen for you too.